A Revised and Corrected Ad for Koch Industries

Jon Stewart and the Daily Show made a few corrections to an advertisement extolling the enormous Koch corporation — one of their sponsors (sort of). It’s a hilarious and factual improvement on the original ad. Definitely worth watching at the Daily Show, which you can find here. Also, read the Rolling Stone expose of the Koch brothers. These are not nice guys, and they really are attempting to purchase our entire government….

Here is the text of the revised advertisement, if you don’t feel like waiting for the video to load:

We’re Koch industries — not just an energy company.

We’re in your food and in your pants and in your home.

If there’s a way to monetize your thoughts, we’ll find it.

All while backing seventeen shadow organizations to buy elections from Pennsylvania Avenue to Main Street.

You won’t always see our names on our campaign ads, because the politicians we own say that’s OK.

With our heartfelt devotion to fossil fuels, we make your planet warmer and your water more flammable, while lubricating your birds and rearranging your polar bears.

We can’t raise your little girl for you, but we can hand-pick her school board and approve her textbooks. And when she lands her first job, we’ll be fighting to reduce the miminum wage. Because we actually believe it [raising the minimum wage] could lead to Naziism.

Yeah. Naziism. We’re that [expletive deleted] out there.

Koch industries: the next generation of robber barons, bending the democratic process to our will since 1980.

Oh, and our brother David likes ballet.

By the way, the Koch brothers were not pleased by the Rolling Stone expose, so they fought back. They couldn’t actually deny any of the facts, but they still got nasty. You can read the response by the author to their criticisms, here.